I know exactly how it is to be a complete loser who is consumed by a feeling of uncertainty in this massive and hectic world.
It wasn’t so long ago when I used to live like a fish out of water; I flailed about, gasping for satisfaction and not finding it.
Coming from a family that always had a prim background, people expect me to be the epitome of an ideal adolescent. Thus, if I fail to conform to the standards they set up for me, I despise myself more.
I have always wanted to live my life as a princess in a fairytale. But I knew that such illusion only existed in the mere corners of my mind. I was sure of this belief because when I looked at myself, I never saw a princess but a grisly creature wanting to belong to the dainty ladies in their castle-worthy gowns.
On the surface, I may act like any other typical teenager trying to make the best of her years. But when you look deep within me, you will discover a little, feeble girl drowning in her own tears. I hid behind a mask of happiness so that people would not ask me what is wrong; I tussled but I tried my best not to show it.
A point came in my life where I knew I could no longer bear being locked up in the shadows of anguish and insecurities. I realized that I am not in a position to judge my own value or anyone else’s. What matters is who I actually am in the eyes of God and not in the eyes of His people.
I no longer strive for flawlessness because I have come to comprehend that I would always remain imperfect; despite that, I know that God would always love me as I am.
So what is the secret to contentment? I’ve heard it from a statement by Oprah Winfrey which says, “Want what you have and you will always have what you want.”
Since then, I’ve tried to apply that dictum in my life and I’ve realized that I certainly am the fairest of them all!
It wasn’t so long ago when I used to live like a fish out of water; I flailed about, gasping for satisfaction and not finding it.
Coming from a family that always had a prim background, people expect me to be the epitome of an ideal adolescent. Thus, if I fail to conform to the standards they set up for me, I despise myself more.
I have always wanted to live my life as a princess in a fairytale. But I knew that such illusion only existed in the mere corners of my mind. I was sure of this belief because when I looked at myself, I never saw a princess but a grisly creature wanting to belong to the dainty ladies in their castle-worthy gowns.
On the surface, I may act like any other typical teenager trying to make the best of her years. But when you look deep within me, you will discover a little, feeble girl drowning in her own tears. I hid behind a mask of happiness so that people would not ask me what is wrong; I tussled but I tried my best not to show it.
A point came in my life where I knew I could no longer bear being locked up in the shadows of anguish and insecurities. I realized that I am not in a position to judge my own value or anyone else’s. What matters is who I actually am in the eyes of God and not in the eyes of His people.
I no longer strive for flawlessness because I have come to comprehend that I would always remain imperfect; despite that, I know that God would always love me as I am.
So what is the secret to contentment? I’ve heard it from a statement by Oprah Winfrey which says, “Want what you have and you will always have what you want.”
Since then, I’ve tried to apply that dictum in my life and I’ve realized that I certainly am the fairest of them all!
xoxo,
♥Andi Dandi♥
1 comments:
ands,
i like your manner of writting. you are able to hold the readers' interest with your witty tales of real-life experiences. your profile seems to mirror your personality which is a good thing coz it allows your readers to know you better. i'm giving your blog a 10. hoping to see more soon. :)
-jack x.x -
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